when tragedy strikes

in 1998, when the embassies in nairobi and dar es salaam were hit, i was in florence with my family. it was a trip for my grandparents' 50th anniversary, and we had taken advantage of the flight to europe to do a little more tourism. that night, we arrived late, saw the news, and went to mcdonald's.

in FLORENCE. because it was the only american thing we could do.

in december when i woke up from a nap in the netherlands to find that a psycho had killed 26 people, most of them teeny tiny children, i reacted slightly differently. i went down to the hotel restaurant, and drank my way through a large bottle of wine (also, some food, but that i do not remember).

when terrible things happen, impotence reigns. what can we do to feel more helpful? give money? not yet, surely. offer our homes? not if we don't live in boston. sit on a hotel bed far away and sip wine while retweeting funny/sad/occasionally helpful information?

ding ding ding!

these days, i feel like we're doing this too much. the fact that without even thinking about it i could name multiple acts of terror/the countries i was in during said acts (ie, events that inspire terror, since clearly i have no desire to wade into drama about the president did and didn't say. also ie, yes, i've been on twitter too much and should probably go to sleep) and where i was in the PAST YEAR - and that this time, i wasn't shocked? just saddened - it's awful. it's... deadening. i feel a little dead inside that i can't do anything about people being BOMBED at something like the boston MARATHON other than click "retweet".

tonight i'm sitting with yet another bottle of wine, contemplating what evil is inside of each of us that allows/compels/etc us to kill our fellow man. with bombs, guns, drones, knives, drugs - whatever. but that doesn't really do much but haunt my dreams. for now i suppose i'll finish this glass, put the rest of the wine in my room's mini fridge, and sleep in an unknown bed. somewhere out there beneath the pale blue sky, someone is getting the worst news of their life, and there's nothing i can do but hope tomorrow will be a better day, and not just a re-set of the clock to "0 days since the last tragedy".

Several truths and a few lies

Anyone ever play 2 truths and a lie? When you go through (lots of) leadership training, it's one of the ice breakers they teach you. More importantly (when you're me), it is one of the most fun ones!

So in honor of April Fool's, here are several truths and a few lies. Here are some hints: There are more truths than lies. I am not a man. And... you know.

• I am turning 30 next month
• I've quit drinking... on weekdays
• I danced on a bar to "Pour Some Sugar on Me"
• I bought a house
• I'm pregnant. For real, this time.
• My favorite color is blue
• Once, I slept with a celebrity. Well, a "celebrity"
• I'm joining a soccer team
• I've made the president laugh
• My weaknesses are champagne, bourbon, and m&ms

Alright. Guesses in the comments. Go!

(and happy april fool's... which means definitely do NOT be fooled by a guy who is a year older than you "falling" from sets on stage when you're the HS "student director" of your musical. that wasn't cool, and i'm still horrified - 13 years later - that i fell for it)

indulgence

today was a shit day at work. not because work was shitty - in fact! it was GLORIOUS - but because i got sort of shitty news whilst there.

yes. whilst. yes.

and after i complained to my best friends becky and jo, and walked around the office a few times to up my fitbit numbers, and listened to musicals to let the songs... sing my feelings? i went home. i got pizza. i drank prosecco. and watched friends.

i know. perfect evening, amiright?

1. having grown up in the 90s, there's nothing quite like watching friends to make my day a little better.
2. i appreciate that drinking most of a bottle of prosecco is not a great idea on a thursday.
3. pizza does not help with the, you know, "i'm chubby, whine whine whine!"

and i don't give a flying fuck.

it's just been a hard week and a half. and i know that i talked about mental health days last week, and i don't want to imply that, yanno, i live every week like this. but sometimes? when you get bad news about money, or jobs, or friends, or romance - watching chandler bing while sipping some of trader joe's finest accompanying some OK pizza? is the way to augment whatever else you're doing for yourself. zoloft, sex, exercise, are all great. but when they stop working for 24-100ish hours? take care of you.

People Who Rock. People Who Suck.

Oh HAAAAAY look who posted 2X bishes. Also. This is heavy on politics/entertainment, for which I apologize. Unless you like that sort of thing. Theeeeeeen you're welcome.

(Oh yeah I'm quoting Anna Kendrick. Who I think will have to be on this list next week.)

People Who Rock:

1. My friends M and J who are GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!!! This wedding is going to be legen (wait for it.....) DARY! LEGENDARY! Think My Big Fat Greek Wedding meets My Platinum Wedding minus the super annoying everything. Just awesome. And fist pumping;
2. Forrest Whittaker. Ta-Nehisi Coates;
3. Jacob Bernstein. Nora freaking Ephron. Nick Pileggi, and Max Bernstein, and everyone who was with Nora in her last days for loving her as much as they did. Jacob, if you're single and into ladies, I'm avail for you baby;
4. Allen Leech. Talk about being available for you;
5. Law and Order. Man, you guys got it right. Dick Wolf, bring 'em back! Please? With SUGAR on top!! I watched a lot of episodes from the early 2000s and they are just as relevant, interesting, and integrityous now as they were then. I know that's not a word, but it's always bothered me that you'd have to say "full of integrity". So episodes of L&O = integrityous;
6. Rand Paul, with you know. All the caveats? But the drone program is terrible, it besmirches our country, it tramples all over (or at the very least, sneezes into) the due process clause, and it is just morally, ethically, everythingy wrong; and
7. Relatedly, Eric Holder. Sassy response, Mr. Attorney General. Respec'.

People Who Suck:

1. The contract that governs my life that isn't letting me move abroad and get paid for it. BOO;
2. Justice Poopyhead Scalia. Talk about besmirching things I hold deal. New Jersey. UChicago. People named Maureen. HARRUMPH RACIAL ENTITLEMENT MY ASS YOU LITTLE TROLL. The Voting Rights Act needs to be EXPANDED, not torn down by - shall I go there?? - JUDICIAL ACTIVISM! Ugh. I hope your penis shrivels up and falls off;
3. Abayas;
4. (The voters of) Israel and Italy. WHAT THE HELL Y'ALL?! BIBI AND BERLUSCONI?! Jeeeeez;
5. Chris Christie. Either until he stops hating on cops and teachers (the very people who you know, MAKE SOCIETY RUN IN A CIVIL WAY), he is number five on the people who suck list. Because he sucks, times five;
6. Racism, misogyny, homophobia, and prejudice of any kind. Including (and especially) any I may hold; and
7. Dan Stevens. Does he deserve to be on this list with the rest of them? Prob not. But he knows what he did. And he's not DEAD TO ME. But he is INJURED GRIEVOUSLY to me. Next steps best be good Matthew.

Happy wedding M & J!! And happy weekend everyone!!!

Noquester

I know that those of you who luuuuuuuuuurve snow are disappointed by today's lack of storm, but I effing needed OPM's wimping out. These past few weeks (ie, since I last posted) have been a clusterfuck of stress. GOOD stress. AMAZEBALLS stress. Stress for which, a little more than a year ago when I was almost laid off, I would have killed a not nice person (Chavez, if it you know. Wouldn't have provoked an international crisis and he wasn't already dead. And let's be honest, by "kill" I mean "slap". And by "slap" I mean glare at snarkily from the other side of a room).

And yet?

I looooooooved today's mental health day. If OPM hadn't called it, I might have. Probably not today - I have a wedding this weekend and so am already taking a bit of PTO - but definitely within the next business week. I know this, because the signs have been building rapidly, including:

• I haven't done laundry for a reason that isn't "holyshitIhavenounderwear"
• my office now has more of my clothes than my house does
• I'm up on exactly zero episodes of Modern Family
• for the wedding this weekend, I don't have an exit plan. I don't mean from the wedding if it gets awkward (which it won't, bee tee dubs - it's gonna be AWESOME). I mean from New Jersey
• the only reason I have clean dishes is because I haven't eaten at home in forever. I miss cooking. I even miss cutting onions. Yeah. I said it. Onions.

I am highly on board with taking mental health days. This may date back to college, when our one day off during winter quarter was fondly called "suicide prevention day" (we... were nerds? Lived in a cold, grey climate? Had a lot of snark to get out about NOT getting off MLK and President's Day?) but I firmly believe in the restorative health  of taking a day off from life to do you. Cry. Sleep. Cut onions. I'm pretty sure I did all three today (dudes. Aladdin is SAD). But the thing is, here in the US we don't have such a thing. In fact, I'm not familiar with everywhere in the world, but I'm not sure anyone really has a set allotment of mental health days. Granted, the Europeans have way more vacay than we do (sooooo not jealous) so you could take them. Man. Europe. I should work there, but here.

Where was I going with this?

Ah yes. The point is - if you have sick days, take them. Mental health is just as important as physical health. If you don't (poor bastard. And by bastard, I mean me), work an extra hour or so for a few days so that you can take it off without guilt. Hell, I bet you've been working WAY more than an extra hour or so and not billing for it - that's why you need one!

In the end, my point is trifold:

1. I've missed you guys
2. Take mental health days
3. Noquester, I missed the Dupont snowball fight, but I really enjoyed sleeping until 11.